This is Why You Should Follow Stephen Colbert on Twitter

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl actually prefers Hydrox to Oreos. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
5 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl developed his own line of hair care products just so he could test them on bunnies. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
5 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl has a shrine to Scooter from the Muppet Show. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
6 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl’s torso is covered in superfluous nipples. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
6 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl can, and will, deny that you’re a jolly good fellow. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
7 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl has the world’s most extensive catalogue of snuff films. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
8 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl was sent from the future to kill Sarah Conner. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
8 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl is an accomplished nude hula dancer. He is not welcome in Hawaii. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
9 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl is so mean he once shot a man just for snoring. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
9 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
For the past ten years, Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
10 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl sponsored S.410, which would ban happiness. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
10 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl calls the underside of his Senate seat: “The Booger Graveyard.” #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
11 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl cheated on Sandra Bullock. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
11 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
John Kyl is 90% prune juice. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
12 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl let a game-winning ground ball roll through his legs in Game 6 of the ’86 World Series. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
12 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Once a year, Jon Kyl retreats to the Arizona Desert and deposits 2 million egg sacs under the sand. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
13 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
In 2009, Jon Kyl lost $380,000 wagering on dwarf tossing. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
13 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Citing religious reasons, Jon Kyl refuses to utter the number 8. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
14 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl murdered a caricaturist for drawing him with a basketball instead of a surfboard. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
14 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl once ate a badger he hit with his car. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
15 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl = ax2 + bx + c #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
15 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl holds the Guinness World Record for “Largest Collection of Penis Enlargers.” #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
16 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Carly Simon wrote that song about Jon Kyl. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
16 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl has a $1000-a-day Lik-M-Aid habit. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
17 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl calls all Asians “Neil” no matter what their name is. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
17 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl’s knees bend both ways. He’s part racehorse. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
18 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl assassinated Archduke Ferdinand. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
18 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
On weekends, Jon Kyl shoots manatees with paintball guns. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
19 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Legally, Jon Kyl cannot be within 100 yards of Helen Mirren. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
19 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl was the CEO of Enron when they took all those people’s pension money. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
20 hours ago

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Jon Kyl is one of Gaddafi’s sexy female ninja guards. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement
20 hours ago

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